Grousing Day, Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Sir Assinine

The inspiration for Sir Assinine

The group of animals broke apart into several different groups.  Most of them moved quickly to get their knight errant, the one who would help them with their own problems.  They were in a hurry to get their concerns out, but they also didn’t want to get caught in the Sir D. Forest’s slime trail. His group was the last to form, in part because snails move deliberately, not rashly.

    The largest animals encircled Sir Assinine, most of them airing the same complaint.  A chipmunk stood up on his hind legs and squeaked his concern. “Traffic is too fast on the road in front of the farm. May babies are frightened and worried about being safe crossing the road.”   He continued explaining his worry, “Everyone needs water, but sometimes the food is on the other side of the road. We need some kind of car control, so we can get to where we need to go.”  The crowd around him all muttered in agreement.

   “This is a longterm problem,” said Sir Assinine.  “Queen Agra has tried to work with the farmer to stop it. There’s even a sign that says “Slow, farm animals nearby.”  It doesn’t stop them.  I think it’s because they are going so fast they can’t read it. “ 

   “The Pigja and Sir D. Forest have been trying to create frost heaves and pot holes, so the humans will slow down. But even with their cars flying through the air, and their axles breaking, they keep speeding. “I think we’re going to have to be a bit more assertive in our concerns, but please realize that this is a very dangerous situation.  I will personally yell at them, if they speed. My voice alone usually makes humans pull up short.  If that doesn’t work, then Pigja and I will work together to get the point across.”

    A little rumble went through the crowd of critters.  Many were skeptical that anything could be done.  Others were concerned for Sir Assinine’s safety if he had to put himself forth directly.  Only time would tell if his efforts worked.

   “If this doesn’t work, then Queen Agra will have to work with the farmer to make the town react to this problem.  I think there are things that people can do to themselves that might work more than we can do.”

   The next morning, as the sun was rising, the parade of cars started zooming down the country road. They raced past the skunks who had not survived their attempt to get off the farm. The cars whizzed by woodchucks, squirrels, even an owl that were laying dead at the side of the road.  They didn’t even notice.    

Sir Assinine slowly walked to the tree row along the roadside, waiting for a speedster to come by.  It wasn’t too long before a little red sports car came tearing up the road, even going air born over the potholes.  The donkey pinned his ears back, reached his nose to the air and let out a very loud “HEEHAW!”  After that first blast, several little squeaks and whistles followed.  When donkeys bray they often mutter under their breath, and it sounds like squeaks, snorts and chortles. The driver did stop short. He got out of his car and began looking around for pieces of his car that might have fallen off. Those squeaks could easily have been a car part coming loose.  “After all,” thought the driver, “what else could it be?  Nothing around here makes that kind of noise.”  Finding nothing, he got back into his car, and proceeded a little more slowly, looking for car parts trailing behind him.  

“Well that worked a little,” thought Sir Assinine.  “Only time will tell if they learn anything in the long term. “  He continued his post, braying when needed, but stayed hidden behind the row of trees. “Let’s see what tomorrow brings.” 

        Sir Assinine continued this approach for about a week, and traffic did slow a bit.  Fewer cars came down the road, as apparently word had spread about the “dangerous road.”  But he knew that it was only a short term solution. Humans have short memories, and they seem to love to go fast.

  The next step would be to come out of hiding and stand in the middle of the road.  This was truly death defying, but it was his job to keep the forest safe.  He hoped it would never come to that, but he was prepared for that to happen. He hoped that his bray would pierce the sound of the car, and wake people up to this donkey knight, standing in the middle of the road.  It had worked once before when he and the horse had gotten loose and stood in the middle of a fog covered road, early one morning. A man was driving up the road, and when he got closer to them, he saw a strange outline through the mist. As he grew closer, he realized what he was seeing, and Sir Assinine gave him an earful. The human knocked on the door of a neighbor’s house, asking if those animals belonged to her. They didn’t but she knew where they were supposed to go.        

 The long eared knight hoped he wouldn’ t  have to ask Magi, the horse to help him, as horses are much easier to frighten. He had been afraid that he would get trampled, but she loved him so much she trusted him. Together they stood against the car, and eventually they moved out of the road, and the driver slowly continued to his destination.  

Sir Assinine began planning for the next step, this time with Pigja.  Together they could move a big rock into the road, just as a car came around the corner. Humans love to worry, too, and perhaps they could convince the drivers that the road was  haunted, or cursed.  Only time would tell, but they began searching for the right rock, just in case. If that didn’t work, there were other tricks they could play before he had to resort to standing in the road again. This time, though, he’d bring the Pigja. He was nearly as heavy as Magi, but much steadier when things get scary, and he was sneakier.