Caprenity Chapter Twelve - The Haunted Highway

  The Farmer had heard, a little, when Queen Agra said the animals wanted to convince the townsfolk that their road was haunted. Since she was still in a dreamworld, it didn’t really click in right away.  But one day she heard Sir Assinine braying at the roadside, and watching the cars screech to a halt, getting out to check if their car was falling apart.  “Well, that’s one way to do it,” she said to herself, but was wondering if there was something else she could do. 

She put up “Caution – Farm Animals,” signs. No response.She put up pictures of the animals along the road, each one with a sign saying “please slow down. We’re scared,”  but that didn’t work either.   She went to the Police Station and asked to talk to the Chief of Police, and she was ushered into his office.   “Thank you for seeing me, Chief.  I have a problem I hope you can help me solve,” she started.  “My farm is on a short little road, Forest Street, where we only have three houses.  One of those houses is ours. One is across the street, and the other is kitty corner, but they have children and chickens.  People use Forest Road as a way to avoid police on Main Street. They come up the hill, speed down our road because they think no one lives there, and then turn back on to the main road.  Before we built our house, there was only one house on the street, and they didn’t have any animals, so it didn’t really matter.  Plus, it’s a corduroy road, so after frost heave season, it’s really hard on car suspensions.  But last year, they paved the road more completely, and it became a race track for people who love to rev their engines.”   “My problem is that sometimes livestock escapes, and then there’s the general wildlife, and the children in the neighborhood. Traveling at the speeds they are, there is no way cars are going to be able to stop before they hit something.  Do you have any suggestions?”   The Chief thought for a few seconds and said, “Not really.  We only have three cruisers, and they are needed at the main entries to the town.  If people have found ways around them, then I’m afraid they get away with it.  Sorry.  Just keep your animals in their pens and they should be fine.”   “That doesn’t help with the deer who cross the road, or the bears that hang out eating blueberries. If someone wants to ride their horse, they are put in real danger if the horse spooks because of the car’s speed. Not every driver slows down. Some actually speed up and rev their engines when they see a horse. They think it’s funny. If we report the driver, will you talk to them?”   “There’s no way we can police that.  People are taught to slow down, even stop, and wait for the rider to signal it’s safe. If we see them ignoring that, then we can ticket them, but that’s about it.”   “ Oh, when I first got my horse, who is a big draft horse, I took her for a walk along the road. She was still a baby, but she already weighed more than 800 lbs.  Someone sped by us as if we weren’t even there, and I suddenly had a giant “baby” trying to climb into my lap!  Do we have to sue the town to get any help?  I stopped walking her off the farm, which isn’t really fair to us, since we still pay taxes. But we can’t keep our animals, or families safe.”   “I’m sorry that happened to you. I am sure that was just some teenager burning off some energy.  They grow out of it,” he answered.  “No, that was a middle aged woman who should have known better, but she felt entitled to do whatever she wanted because no one was around to stop her.  I didn’t get her name or license number as I was too busy trying to calm my massive “horse child,” down. I don’t think you can blame it on age.”   “Well, I’m sorry. Someone of that age should no better, but cars are fun to drive fast. I understand that people want to do it,” said the Chief.  “Oh, some of us want to keep livestock safe, and wildlife. Why can’t people understand that’s our choice too?”    The Chief shrugged, stood up and showed the Farmer the door.   “Well that was a waste of time,” thought the Farmer. “I guess we’re on our own.”   It was obvious to Queen Agra that the humans weren’t going to change their ways. It was going to be up to the animals to protect each other. So launched “Operation Haunted Highway.”   So Caprenity went to work. Sir Caprica and Sir Assinine put their heads together, and brought in Sir NightEyes for a bird’s eye view of the problem. “I think we can convince the humans that the road is haunted, but we’ll need to work together. Are you up to it?” asked Sir Caprica.   The Knight Owl nodded his head and explained “Certainly, we can do that.  I”ll talk with the other owls and see if we can’t create a night owl chorus, so when drivers come through they hear a lot of “hooting,” to the point of sounding like a howl.”  Sir Caprica said “I’ll talk to the deer. I’ve hear of a white deer that lives around here. Maybe I can get him to come visit. He is certainly ghostly looking, especially when his antlers are filled out.”   A bat flew down from her roost, squinting her eyes because so light out.  “We bats can help. We can mob the road when a car approaches. We’ll have to be careful not to get hit, but I think if we just look like a mob of bats, that will scare some people away.”  “That would be wonderful,” said Sir Assinine. “Humans are afraid of bats, which is really silly because they are just as afraid of diseases.  You bats help keep them safe, but maybe a little “bat scare,” will help.”   He had been trying to get to the meeting for quite awhile, but finally Sir D.Forest joined in. "We snails can leave slime trails on the road in the early morning and late in the afternoon, when it’s not too hot. It won’t help in the winter, but as long as we’re awake we can make things pretty slippery.”  The Farmer looked out at the pasture and saw the little cluster of conversation. “I wonder what they’re up to?” she said aloud, but she smiled at the thought of the animals fighting back.   Raven flew down from high in the trees and added some other ideas.  “I will speak with the trees and see if they can’t conveniently drop some branches in front of, or just behind a car. We don’t want to hurt anyone, but if we can make people think twice about venturing down Forest Road, we’ll all be happier.”   “I’ve already spoken with my fellow ravens and crows, and we are all in agreement that we can perch low in the branches along the road, and look like a gauntlet. When the cars start to move through, we can all launch at once, and make it very difficult to see. Some of us have even agreed to die if we need to, if it will keep the rest of us safe,” explained Raven.   “I hope it doesn’t come to that,” said Sir Assinine. “We’re trying to keep each other safe. No one should have to die to make that happen.”   So, the next weekend, after the animals had all been filled in on what was going to happen, Operation Haunted Highway began.  First came the Ravens and Crows, waiting in the trees, looking foreboding by just sitting there, because there were so many of them. Some of the humans seemed to slow down a bit, but traffic didn’t really lessen.  Next came the owl chorus, hooting in the dark, sounding like a pack of wolves, as cars drove by.  Eventually the coyotes and foxes joined in as well, so it became an even more ominous wild choir.   After a rain, when the leaves were wet on the pavement, the snails felt safe crossing the road, ever so slowly. Since it was already wet they didn’t fear drying out during their travel, so the road was really slimy by morning. They kept this up all summer, even until after leafall in the fall. Then it got too cold for them, but they had already made an impression.   One day, a pick up truck came up the road traveling way too fast. Sir Assinine tried to bray but the muffler was gone on the truck, so the driver didn’t hear it.  A moose had heard the truck though, and he trotted through the woods and got the end of the road before the truck did.  When the driver saw the giant animal he slammed on his brakes, sliding on the snail slime and into a stone wall that had been there for a hundred years.   The moose was fine, but the truck needed towing, and the ruckus from the crows as they laughed, really frightened the driver.  The plan was working.     That driver went to the diner for his morning coffee and told people about the moose. Someone overheard the story and chimed in “Was that up on Forest Road?  I don’t know what’s going on up there, but I don’t feel safe going that way anymore. There are too many weird things happening whenever I drive it.  Last week, I thought I saw a ghost deer. It ran so fast I wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t just a white tail. It was a whole white deer.”   Soon the local Internet conversations were all about the haunted road.  Even ghost hunters came to visit, but they couldn’t find any ghosts with their machines.   The chipmunks began playing kamikaze, darting in front of the cars, and crouching under the chassis, so the drivers thought they were dead. Even walkers were afraid to walk their dogs on Forest Road, because of the strange goings on.   The Farmer came out to the pasture and said aloud, “Whatever you’re doing, keep it up. Traffic has really decreased, and the town is really talking about the haunted road.  I know I feel safer now. I hope you do too.”   Once winter came Mother Nature dropped so much ice on the road, that cars couldn’t speed through or they’d lose control.  When the thaw came, the road had heaved so much that Sir Assinine’s bray and the Pigja’s snorts were enough to keep the cars away.    “It pays to cooperate,” said Queen Agra at the next Grousing Day.  “I’m very proud of you for being so creative.  Let’s see what else we can do, okay?”  All the animals nodded. The birds trumpeted a victory song and even the farm animals jumped for joy as the humans were finally convinced that Forest Road was haunted, and they were all safe.